5 Tips to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
We may have been watching too much of AMC’s The Walking Dead lately but the question has come to us one more than one occasion lately… “what would we do in the Zombie Apocalypse?”
Tip #1 – Wear Leather
We’re all on the same page about how you become a zombie, right? You have to get bit. If this is such common knowledge then why don’t more people in zombie movies just put on a heavy leather jacket? Have you ever tried to bite through one of those hard-boiled numbers that you see on the Sons of Anarchy? Not doing it. A chain-mail shirt would obviously be best but I’m sure you’ll be closer to a Wilson’s leather than a medieval armorer when the zombie apocalypse hits your town.
Tip #2 – Don’t Use a Gun
Do you know how to make bullets? Yeah, I don’t either. Chances are, unless you’re living in the former USSR or you’re a bullet manufacturer you don’t have the means or wherewithal to make the stuff needed to out last the zombies. Better to get familiar with a katana or a trusty nail-bat. Both are pretty available and easy to wield against the sluggish undead. Why not give yourself the advantage of longevity?
For those of you who insist on a ranged approach, why not get a bow? This option is quiet, reusable, and gives you the option of making more arrows down the line. All distinct advantages over the common gun. Besides, you’ll get style points.
Tip #3 – Learn How to Sail
You want to learn how to be self sustainable and have a skill that allows you to get the hell out of dodge without using fuel? Take it from a registered captain, learn how to sail. You’ll be everyone’s first pick when you casually mention that you can pilot a 47′ schooner to a remote island in the Caribbean. You’ll be like those kids who could play guitar in college, everyone will love you. Stack that on the fact that you’ll be equipped to put some serious distance in between any land bound zombies and yourself.
Tip #4 – Find a Horse, Preferably a Big One
Sure, a Ford F-150 will take you and five of your best friends through a sea of zombies like a Coast Guard Ice Breaker through the Bering Sea but, back to our bullet conversation, how long will that last? Get yourself a Clydesdale and put some armor on that beast, now you’re cooking. There’s a reason feudal knights on horseback were the terror of armies for a thousand years. You’re now atop a mean, kicking, armored, beast that runs on grass. Good job you.
Tip #5 – Consider One of These
While completely impractical as far as ammunition goes (what kind of belt would you need to wear to have one of these?) the sheer awesomeness of the rocket-propelled chainsaw launcher should allow you to carve yourself a little patch of paradise. Maybe even a European castle. Something easy to hold in a sea of hungry zombies. Not to mention, with a rocket-propelled chainsaw launcher, you’ll be the envy of all your friends.
Have a tip to survive the zombie apocalypse? Let us know in the comments below!